Blog Post 6: Star Light, Star Bright

We all have this friend who tends to develop her obsession for a particular celebrity. She was an ordinary fan before and then evolved and turned to be overly involved with the details in that celebrity’s personal life. This is a disorder known as Celebrity worship syndrome. Sometimes, because of her too much addiction to her favorite celebrity, she sometimes fantasize she’s actually having a relationship with that artist. We often wonder how she would benefit from this make up relationship, if this is such a bad thing that needs to stop or is tolerable and actually helpful.

Even for someone not that addicted with stars and celebrities, we also get amazed and stammer every time we see a celebrity especially when we meet them personally. Why care? Celebrities are fascinating because they live in a parallel universe—one that looks and feels just like ours yet is light-years beyond our reach. And psychologists have indicated despite all the glamour celebrities have, the only common factor among them is that they are all figures in the public eye.

Although this may be a bit unusual, but research says that the act of celebrity worship may be a boon to some people's self-esteem.

"Perhaps some people who don't feel good about themselves and are not able to get what they want out of a real relationship because of a fear of rejection can feel a connection with a celebrity and get something positive out of that," 

Stated in Alice Park’s “Celebrity Worship: Good for Your Health?” I agree, because for those who have low self-esteem, they may refer to their idol as an inspiration and may be the key to improving themselves.  Oprah Winfrey, someone who suffered through poverty, sexual abuse and racial discrimination, is now the wealthiest woman in media. Lance Armstrong survived advanced testicular cancer and went on to win the Tour de France five times. They serve as inspiration for their fans to follow.

Another one is related to the previous one but focuses more on the physical appearance.  It is something called “the exposure effect.”  Well normally, if someone is beautiful, it’s not surprising that they become famous. Well, in this case, if someone is famous, they become beautiful. Stated in Carlin Flora’s article: Seeing by Starlight: Celebrity Obsession:

“The more we see a certain face, the more our brain likes it, whether or not it's actually beautiful.”

This gives hope and motivation to the public that’s why many are fascinated with the concept of fame. Celebrities and stars are not limited to only “the beautiful people.” This shows someone becomes beautiful in one’s eyes the more we see that certain face.

Although points were stated and proven that Celebrity Obsession is not such a bad thing, still you need to maintain balance with your obsession. Going back to Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s article What Makes YourObsession Healthy or Unhealthy Is Your Personality, in order to develop a healthy obsession,

“the only way to love something is to be obsessed with it, but if you have the wrong combination of personality traits, you may end up being obsessed BY it.”

Blog Post 5: The OCD

If ever you feel uneasy and experience anxiety just by looking at this photo, that’s one of the signs that you’re suffering Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or more known as OCD. It is an anxiety disorder which is characterized with compulsive actions, such as hoarding, counting, checking and cleaning, and obsessive thoughts. Examples of these are repetitively checking if the door is locked and repetitive hand-washing.

For further information, an obsession is an unpleasant, unwelcome thought, urge or image that keeps entering the person's mind, eventually causing severe anxiety. While a compulsion is a repetitive behavior carried out by the person with the obsessive thought as a means of preventing that obsession from occurring, or relieving the anxiety it causes. 

I myself experience slight uneasiness whenever walking in the streets and I would imply to myself that I shouldn’t step on any of the cracks, adjusting the volume only to an even number and other stuff. But I know that I don’t have OCD only because it isn’t associated with anxiety and compulsion. An example of a situation is; a person may shower every time they touch another person, go to the toilet, or go outside, because they are scared of catching a disease - the obsession is catching the disease while the compulsion is to have a shower. My opinion with OCD is that the one who experience it must suffer a lot because most of the time their minds are occupied with the things they shouldn’t worry about, and feels uncomfortable whenever they don’t check or repeat it.

In an article by Elizabeth Landau entitled OCD in children:'A darkness has overtaken me,' it was stated there by a 10 year old child named Mystery Almond:

"Sometimes I feel like, with my OCD, I feel sad. It feels like a darkness has overtaken me. It's a real bad feeling"

Because she always get picked on for washing her hands more often than most people and for some reason she would see words spelled inside her head instructing her to do things. This is one proof that a person with OCD tends to suffer a lot. It’s not enough that she’s already torturing herself with the things she can’t help but follow, but she also gets bullied for it. People need to be educated more with this disorder so children like Mystery who are still young won’t have to suffer more than they already are.

Meanwhile, contradicting the negative side of the disorder, Steven Phillipson wrote in his article “OCD and Reflections on September 11^th”:

“In general, when real life delivers a crisis, persons with anxiety disorders, and specifically those with OCD, tend to manage these crises somewhat more effectively than the population at large. The very nature of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is the mind's relentless and endless effort to process and prepare for the most extreme nightmarish scenarios. The anxious mind compels people to mentally anticipate the worst possible scenario and not the negative outcomes which life typically delivers. Our usual world predominantly delivers circumstances to us which don't come close to matching the level of negativity that people with OCD consistently prepare themselves for.”

Here he says that you can turn your disorder to an advantage. As someone who tends to worry much with little things you shall be able to overcome easily the problems you will meet. You already anticipated the worst scenarios that could happen therefore you are able to prepare in advance what you need to do to solve it.

Therefore OCD as a disorder isn’t a total hindrance to you as someone who experiences it. Sure it tortures your mind by occupying your head to do such things such as repetition and hoarding you don’t need to do. You just need to find ways so that you could turn the negative effect, into a positive. Do not let ‘darkness’ overcome you.

Blog Post 4: Developing a Healthy Obsession

Some people assume that being obsessed with healthy food and healthy living is already considered a healthy obsession. This disorder is known as Orthorexia nervosa or simply Orthorexia.  In an article by August McLaughlin entitled “Healthfood Passion or Dangerous Obsession?” he noted this:

“Registered dietitian Mary Barbour described orthorexia as an "eating disorder much like anorexia nervosa, except instead of obsessing about being thin, [those with the condition] are fixated on eating foods that make themselves feel pure, healthy and natural." 

Although the word “healthy” is in obsession for healthy foods, this doesn’t make it a healthy obsession. You can’t consider it healthy if the outcome will be not. A healthy obsession is an obsession which makes your life better and helps you in a good way.

The word obsession may immediately give you a bad connotation. But in an article by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Ph.D. entitled What Makes Your Obsession Healthy or Unhealthy Is Your Personality, an obsession can be considered healthy. He said that: “nobody who has ever achieved anything impressive or made an outstanding contribution to anything, has managed to do so without a certain level of obsessiveness.”

He substantiated his point and provided reasons and examples in his article. Being obsessed with something needs development of intra- and inter-personal skills. This is where personality plays an important role. There are three traits that are particularly necessary to help you manage yourself and others. First is Openness to experience, this trait characterizes people who are flexible and open-minded, and therefore open to change. Next, Emotional Stability, be self-critical, and also be motivated by guilt or fear of failure. All these aspects of personality may make you less confident, but if you are too confident you will be less likely to think that you need to change. And the third and final trait is Agreeableness or Inter-personal Sensitivity. This trait is important because it enables you to get feedback from others and take others' views into account. It is the secret path to empathy and having a warm connection with other people. So in order to develop a healthy obsession, we must be able first to possess these traits that would qualify us in developing a healthy obsession.

I would like to state an example of someone who developed his own healthy obsession.  Mishka Shubaly, from being "irreverent young drunk" to ultra-runner.  He first started by running five miles, then increasing it to 10 then 50. His author was the one who suggested to write a book about his great change. He thought that nobody would want to hear his story that’s why he was surprised when his book, "The Long Run" published on Amazon's Kindle Singles list in 2011, it hit No. 1, bumping Stephen King out of the top spot. Experts commend him because they know he’s not the only one using exercise to overcome addiction.

It turns out that being obsessed can be good in some sort of way, but remember, in order to foster a healthy obsession, we must possess the three traits Tomas Chamorro-Premusic had enumerated in his article. Therefore, we may be able to manage ourselves and others better.

Blog Post 3: When does love become an obsession?

I know all of us have experienced the feeling of being in love. It’s like someone filled the empty spaces of your life. Suddenly, life became all butterflies and sunshine. But sometimes, for other people, they tend to overdo it. They let their emotional state take control completely and it results to obsessive love. And the common assumption that people argue about is that obsession is a mental illness. But how does love transform to an obsession?

According to an article I have read by Shana Dines entitled Love or Obsession: How Can You Tell the Difference?, in love or obsession there are phases. First is attraction. They get attracted by their looks and physical appearance. The obsessed one then thinks of him/her all the time then sometimes fantasizes about them. Next phase is when the commitment has been made. Although in an obsessive relationship, a commitment isn’t really necessary, it can be just a fantasized relationship, this is what they call "erotomania" in which the sufferer has delusions that they have a relationship with another person, that the other person knows about, but is "keeping secret." This is when they began to live with the illusion of intimacy. They are afraid of abandonment and rejection. They feel the need to always be in contact with the person they’re obsessed with. They’ll call, message and check up on them on their daily basis. The love object will start to get nervous as the symptoms escalate. The obsessed person will become depressed, resentful and unstable as this phase grows. Third is, the obsessive state or sometimes it is also where the relationship ends. In this phase, the obsessed one spies on, monitors, even manipulate the person they’re obsessed with in their every move. They will try to possess the person. When the victim couldn’t handle this kind of behavior, they tend to end the relationship. And oftentimes those people obsessed aren’t able to accept that the relationship is already over.

The victim can be in real danger when the obsessed knows that the relationship is over and they are losing power.

• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.

• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.

• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.

• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".

• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain. 

But this isn’t applicable to all people who are obsessed, according to an article by Fred Penzel, Ph.D., When People Become Obsessed with Other People, for people suffering with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder they are not the violent or dangerous ones. These types of OCD sufferers fall into these categories:

• Obsessions that one will have to break up with someone  they care about,
• Obsessions that the person will want to break up with them,
• Obsessive and doubtful questions about why one has broken up with someone,
• Obsessive and doubtful questions about why the other person has broken up with them,
• Obsessive doubts as to whether one has harmed, injured, insulted or embarrassed a particular person, often someone close,
• Obsessive questions about the other person's past.
• Obsessive questions about the other person's past.

Fred Penzel said that: “These types of obsessions are usually accompanied not only by compulsive rumination and analysis, but frequently by attempts to question the other person, either face-to-face, by phone, mail, or via a third party or parties. Here is where, I believe, the confusion about this type of OCD occurs. Generally, the OCD sufferer, when tortured by doubts, may repeatedly question or search for information.”

These prove that obsession can be developed by choice. While for others, they just can’t help it. John D. Moore supports this theory. As he stated in his book Confusing Love with Obsession: When Being in Love Means Being in Control, Published in 2002:

“One thing is for certain. Becoming a person who confuses love with obsession does not happen randomly. In fact, the clues to this phenomenon can be traced to the past, where childhood memories that should be filled with love and support are instead filled with loneliness, fear, and deep sorrow. “

So when you feel like you start to develop obsession with a person, you may refer to John D. Moore's book: Confusing Love with Obsession: When Being in Love Means Being in Control to guide you on how to avoid that unhealthy habit.

Blog Post 2: Vanity Kills!

I know two people who are very different from each other. One is contented with how she looks, in fact, she’s more than contented, she’s obsessed with how good she looks and is very proud of it. She can never take her hands off her mirror just so she could take another glance of her beautiful face. The other one, well, she’s very insecure with how she looks. To us, she’s fine, beautiful even, but in her point of view, she hates everything about her. She doesn’t like her nose, she doesn’t like her hair, and she keeps on complaining about it.

At their state, I’ve learned that it’s both normal for teenagers to have and it can still be tolerated. But if they develop it, it can turn to extreme conditions and become disorders of obsessions known as Narcissism and Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Narcissism is a fixation with oneself. A self-obsession. It originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. Currently it is used to describe a person characterized by egotism, vanity, pride, or selfishness. Today, research said that we are living in an increasingly narcissistic society, wherein social media is a medium that fuels both teenagers’ and adults’ narcissistic tendencies. In an article, researcher Elliot Panek said: 

"Young people may overevaluate the importance of theirown opinions" and "Through Twitter, they're trying to broaden their social circles and broadcast their views about a wide range of topics and issues."

As for adults, research found out that Facebook is the social media that boosts up their narcissistic tendencies. It is because it serves as a mirror where they can curate images of themselves and make them appear younger than their actual years. In Lisa Firestone’s article Is Social Media to Blame for the Rise in Narcissism? She wrote:

“While it is certain that online forms of communication and social networks do affect individual's mental health, the solution to fostering a less narcissistic generation is to instill a healthy sense of true esteem offline before anyone is old enough to post their first status update. Only by being less self-obsessed and placing more value on personal relating can we impart these values to the next generation.”

While Narcissism is the fixation of oneself, Body Dysmorphic Disorder is the exact opposite of it. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a condition that involves obsessions, which are distressing thoughts that repeatedly intrude into a person's awareness. With BDD, the distressing thoughts are about perceived appearance flaws. People with BDD might focus on what they think is a facial flaw, but they can also worry about other body parts, such as short legs, breast size, or body shape. BDD is an obsession manifested as excessive concern on the little flaws of their physical appearance which can cause depression and can lead to suicide.

Body dysmorphic disorder is said to be “imagined ugliness” because the affected person tends to magnify their slight physical flaws that others might not even notice it. In an article by Sally Williams entitled “The ugly truth about body dysmorphic disorder”, she wrote a story about a girl named Samantha Davies who began to develop the deformities that would transform her to what she's described as 'the most ugly person in the world.' She suffers from BDD and attempted suicide three times when she decided she had had enough. But the strange thing is that Samantha looks perfectly normal. It was all in her head. So she received treatment, and after a year, the girl who would not even go to school because she was embarrassed of her face, managed to thank you for a compliment she received.

Both Narcissism and BDD aren’t good to have because they develop inferiority and superiority complex among ourselves. Plus, they're both mental illnesses and disorders. So if you are experiencing symptoms of one of them, might as well tolerate it early than develop it. Because BDD can lead to suicide and Narcissism can lead to severe egotism.

Blog Post 1: Obsession Overview

'Sneakin', sneakin'! Hobbitsess always sssooo polite, yesss. Ehm..nice Hobbitsess. Smeagol brings them up ssecret ways, that nobody else can find. Tired he is, and thirsty he is and he guidesssess 'em and he searchesss the path..yess. And then they say: Sneak!"  (Gollum's Dialogue)

The picture and the dialog above is Smeagol’s/Gollum’s, a character from the classic movie “Lord of the Rings.” I find him as a very appropriate illustration of someone being obsessed, in his case, his "preciousssss" ring. With all these, some questions came to my mind, how do you develop obsession with something or someone? If you’re the one being obsessed, do you notice that you’re starting to get obsessed with something?

As a teenager and more especially, a girl, I had my own obsessions also. I didn’t notice it until such time I realized that my whole life is being occupied and dedicated to them. The term we’d like to call it is “fangirl-ing” when what I have been doing is not fangirling anymore, I was Idolizing. It simply means to admire or to love something or someone greatly or excessively. And that was very unhealthy. So I decided to lessen my dedication to it because it slowly became a distraction to me.

So, I researched what obsession is and found out that obsession is defined in many ways. One is, as the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, and others, often associated with anxiety. In other ways, it is defined as a word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated. In terms of love, obsession is when you are trying to control someone that you think you are in love with. You get them or try to get them, to do what you want them to do. If you break up with them you get all angry and want to destroy their lives and hurt them (inside). This is true obsession.

But there are different types of obsession. The healthy obsession which helps you develop your skills and abilities to get better at something. And if there’s a healthy obsession, of course there would be an unhealthy obsession. This happens when you’re getting obsessed by something or someone. It won’t benefit you, instead, it will only worsen your personality and then you will most likely have a problem.

Based on Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic's article What Makes Your Obsession Healthy or Unhealthy is Your Personality.

"It simply means they pay more attention than most people to something, even most people who are interested in something. This is when obsessions can be more than healthy: nobody who has ever achieved anything impressive or made an outstanding contribution to anything, has managed to do so without a certain level of obsessiveness."

Obsession is not all bad, if you're being obsessed WITH it. It benefits you with equipping you skills and developing what you already have. For instance, you don't become a perfect dancer unless you become obsessed with dancing and improve with your dancing skills. You can't be called a great cook until you become obsessed with cooking and then become excellent at it. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic also stated in the previous article: "the only way to love something is to be obsessed with it, but if you have the wrong combination of personality traits, you may end up being obsessed BY it."